Part One-Khushi’s Epilogue

Khushi’s Epilogue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

¨Khushi, did you try the crepes yet? I ordered them especially for you, Arnav told me that they were your favorite when I asked him about desserts…¨

 

 

 

I know that I am blushing as I recall just how he knows that, and quickly turn towards the buffet  spread before Anjali Di can see my flaming cheeks.

 

 

 

¨Not yet, Di…but I will. Everything looks delicious and I’m spoiled for choice here!¨

 

 

Di laughs before looking around at her husband who has just joined us.

 

 

¨It wasn’t entirely my doing, Khushi. Shyam was in charge of planning the menu too, and the decorations were entirely his idea.¨

 

 

I allow my gaze to wander around their beautifully lit backyard where the glow of myriad fairy-lights competes with the diffused light of the moon . The white tablecloths and  flower arrangements on the buffet tables are tasteful and elegant, and the menu is impeccable. Couples and families are scattered around the large lawn area, and the murmur of conversation floats around us like the night mist that is just beginning to descend.

 

The entire effect is magical , and I find myself overwhelmed that Di and Shyam have gone to all this trouble on our behalf.

 

 

¨I know that, Di…but really, there was no need. You didn’t have to do all this…not when you are getting ready to leave for India…¨

 

 

¨That’s exactly why I wanted to do this, Khushi! Our India trip starts next week and if all goes well, we will have our little bundle of joy when we return. And God knows that we will never have time for all this then…besides, it is your one year anniversary. How could we let that pass?¨

 

 

I smile back at her, amazed at how much she has come to mean to me in such a short span of time. In the four months since our return from Greece, I have visited her often, and we have grown closer…closer than my own sister is to me at the moment.

 

Payal…

 

The memory of her name brings a strange ache to my chest. I recall the one stilted phone call she made to me a few weeks back, in which she attempted to apologize for her behavior. I had answered her as best as  I could, but it was then that I had finally recognized the startling truth.

 

There was no going back.

 

 

The relationship between me and Payal had been irrevocably altered, and we could never go back to the way things had been between us. And I also realized that both Amma and Arnav had been right, after all.

When she had been forced to handle things on her own, Payal had been left with no choice but to grow up, and grow up fast. The composure in her voice and the very fact that she has called me of her own volition is proof of that fact. That brief call made me realize that she was finally on the right track, one slow, torturous step at a time.

The only source of disquiet comes from Amma, who tells me that although Payal’s treatment has been going well, her relations within her husbands’ home continue to be soured. Her mother in law hasn’t exactly been giving her a hard time, but it seems like the past continues to haunt Payal even to this day. Akash’s mother hasn’t been able to move past what has occurred, and it is unlikely that she ever will. The only ray of hope is Akash himself, who is still a steadfast , dependable presence in my sister’s life.

 

Against all my instincts, I have tried very hard to keep to my decision about not interfering in her life…and I have succeeded. No matter what happens in her personal life now, Payal is on her own. Although this fact still causes me unease, I remind myself that it is for her own good.

 

Her life is now her own, just as it should be.

 

 

¨Earth to Khushi!¨

 

 

Di’s laughing voice snaps me out of my introspection, and I realize that she has been saying something to me all this while.

 

 

¨Sorry Di, I was…¨

 

 

¨Thinking about my brother?¨

 

 

She laughs at my crimson cheeks, and her husband rolls his eyes.

 

 

¨You still think that your brother is quite the catch, don’t you? Don’t worry, Khushi. I know that life with that workaholic brother in law of mine can’t be all that easy, can it? ¨

 

 

I shake my head, marveling at the change in this relationship as well. It appears that the passage of time has done it’s bit in convincing Shyam Jha that I am not a threat to Arnav after all, and he has thawed considerably in his behavior. Although he is still reserved around me most of the time, there are instances like these when he reveals his subtle sense of humor, reassuring me that all is well between us.

 

 

Before I can answer, Di turns to her husband.

 

 

¨He treats her like a queen, can’t you see that? And she deserves it, of course. In all the ways that matter, these two are made for each other. I knew it the first time we met,Khushi…I can’t believe it’s been one year already!¨

 

 

Her bright smiles are infectious, and I find myself thanking the almighty that she smiles so often these days. The past few months have not been easy for them as they tried to start the lengthy adoption procedure here before being disheartened by the wait-time. It was then that they had started thinking about adopting a baby from India, and this trip had been planned after an adoption agency in Mumbai had informed them that a mother of two had signed on for her third pregnancy, a child she no longer wanted. The Jhas had been eager and ready to accept this welcome gift, and had immediately made plans to fly out to Mumbai.

 

But before they did that, they had insisted on throwing us this party on our anniversary, one that was being held at their home. Di has insisted on keeping the details a surprise, and only the guest list was something that we had been consulted on. There were friends of both our families in attendance tonight, along with  a few of Arnav’s colleagues and my friends from University. 

Also at this party is Naniji, who has been here from the past one month and is now returning to India with Di. 

I look across at her now, her ivory silk saree gleaming in the moonlight. Through the past one month, she and I have grown close too, a fact that I am thankful for. The two weeks that she had spent in our mansion were unforgettable ones, and I find myself missing her cheerful voice now that she is spending these last few days in Di’s house.

 

Yes, the past four months have been good for me.

 

I have gained a family, and my professional life has never looked better.

 

But most of all, the relationship that I prize above all else has taken on  a new dimension altogether.

 

 

My eyes meet his across the lawn, and I know that he has been watching me for quite some time.

Dressed in a night-black suit, Arnav Singh Raizada looks like a sleek, suave predator, his gaze devouring me from afar.

 

However, I have no intention of letting myself get caught…yet.

 

Deliberately, I turn back to Di.

 

 

¨Yes, it’s been an incredible year,  Di. And I hope that the coming one brings you all that you have ever wished for…¨

 

 

I lean forward to give her a hug, and she laughs as she holds me close for a moment.

 

 

¨I hope so, Khushi…I really do!¨

 

 

In that instant, I know that someone has joined our little group.

Someone who has the power to make me tremble with need…someone who sets me on fire with a glance.

 

 

¨Khushi?¨

 

 

I turn slowly to face him, and take in a sharp breath at the banked desire in his eyes.

 

 

 

¨There’s someone I want you to meet. Come…¨

 

 

He offers me his hand, and I take it reluctantly.

Touching him at the moment is not part of my plan for tonight, but I no longer have any option.

 

The warmth of his body burns through the silk-chiffon material of my ankle length dress, and I struggle to keep up with him while my feet are strapped into four inch stilettos.

 

The next half hour passes in a daze as he introduces me to several people, and then we meet others who I know already from the party we had thrown in our own mansion. Food and drinks are being passed around again, and I try to sample everything that Di has chosen with such care.

 

But is hard…very hard.

I find it impossible to maintain a semblance of calm when my body is so attuned to every movement of his, and my skin is prickling with his proximity.

 

And judging by his hooded glances and deliberate, glancing touches, he knows it too.

 

 

Taking a deep breath, I make my excuses and move towards Naniji, unwilling to give in so soon.

 

He doesn’t follow me immediately, although I can still feel his eyes upon me , burning on the bare skin of my back.

 

 

I cannot wait for this evening to end.

 

 

An hour later, that moment has finally arrived, and we say our goodbyes to Di, Shyam and Nani after all the guests have left. I sneak in a look at Sheetal and Laksmiji, both of whom are now asleep.

When I walk back outside, Arnav is standing beside the Porsche, and Dhruv is already seated inside.

 

 

¨Ready?¨

 

 

I nod in some trepidation, and then slide inside, leaning back against the black leather as he gets in from the other side. Dhruv pulls out at once, and I wave at Di until she’s out of sight.

 

 

And then we’re alone, and I feel that change in the atmosphere again.

 

 

I resolutely keep my gaze fastened on the passing vista outside, and I sense his growing puzzlement as he tries to figure out just why I am being so elusive today.

 

 

Patience, Mr. Raizada.

 

 

I don’t say that aloud, but I want to.

 

 

I know that he is frustrated…but then, so am I.

 

 

The past four months have been an exercise in patience, to say the least. The leashed desire between us is impossible to ignore, but he has respected my wishes by not demanding more than I am willing to give.

 

And yet, we have come so close to giving in…

 

My face heats up in the cool confines of the car as I recall the one time we had ended up kissing passionately in the back seat of the limo before he had drawn back abruptly, lowering the privacy screen before being overcome by temptation again.

And then there was the other time in my bedroom, where we had found ourselves in an intimate embrace against the door before he had stopped things from going any further.

 

These restrictions aren’t solely mine, of course.

When we returned from Greece, we had talked again about our physical relationship and how it tended to overshadow everything else. It was then that we had made the mutual decision to abstain, at least until we had a chance to allow the other aspects of our relationship to grow and mature as they should.

 

And that plan has worked…to an extent.

 

I have seen the changes in Arnav, subtle…but present all the same. He is back to being the man I fell in love with…and yet, there is a difference. He seems more open, more willing to go with the flow…willing to take chances and allow things to lead where they may. He doesn’t stay back at work later than he has to, and we spend our evenings and weekends together , just like we used to before.

 

And this has led me to realize that my husband is just like an untamed falcon…a magnificent creature who should never be bound, but allowed to fly free at will.

And when I let him do just that, he returns to me in exhilaration, every single time.

 

When I had made my decision in Greece, I has still harbored some doubts, despite the brave face that I had put on for him at the time.

 

Could I really give up on the idea of a traditional marriage for  a while?

 

 

Was I the sort of person who could stay in a relationship that wasn’t bound by any promises?

 

 

All those questions had plagued me then…but not anymore.

 

 

In doing what I did, I have realized that Arnav isn’t the only one who has changed.

 

I have been altered, too.

 

 

The past four months have taught me that my priorities are now different, that what had once seemed like a compromise, now appeared to give me an unprecedented freedom as well.

Now that I wasn’t shackled by rules or a contract, I could allow myself to love him like I wanted to, to throw myself into this relationship with all my heart, knowing that he was doing the same.

 

 

Yes, this freedom has shown me  a new side of myself, an unexplored facet of Khushi Arnav Raizada that I had never seen before.

 

Because I was the falcon’s mate, after all.

 

 

Our relationship is slowly maturing into one where trust  and understanding play the most important roles, and I find that with each step taken along this path, my earlier decision is being validated.

 

 

And tonight, it is time to take the next step.

 

 

The drive home is accomplished in silence, and I step out of the car quickly when Dhruv pulls up by the front door. When we step inside the darkened hallway, Arnav pulls me to a stop.

 

 

¨Is everything alright?¨

 

 

I stare up at him, this complex man who is now my entire world.

And in his eyes, I see that new emotion…one that reassures me about what I am planning to do tonight.

 

I nod once, then head towards the kitchen.

 

 

¨I’m fine. Would you like  a drink before heading upstairs?¨

 

 

¨Sure.¨

 

 

I turn on the kitchen lights, then walk over to the wine cooler before turning to him again.

 

 

¨What would you like?¨

 

 

¨Just some water, I think. I’ll get it…¨

 

 

¨Wait, I’ll do it.¨

 

 

 

He looks at me in surprise, but stops anyway.

 

 

We are separated by the length of the kitchen island, and I surreptitiously wipe my hands on my dress as I walk over to the water jug. Filling a tall glass with water, I walk over to him.

He takes it from me, but doesn’t raise it to his lips.

 

Instead, he stares at me as if he is trying to decode a mystery.

 

 

I gather all my courage and step away again, so that the island lies between us as before.

 

 

I look away for a moment, my heart racing as I brace myself for what I am going to do next.

 

 

When I look back up at him, he has placed the glass aside and is staring at me with a raised eyebrow.

 

I rush into speech.

 

 

¨Take off your jacket.¨

 

 

His eyes widen in shock.

 

 

¨What?¨

 

 

 

¨Your jacket, Mr. Raizada. Take it off, and then undo your tie as well.¨

 

 

¨Khushi? What are…¨

 

 

¨Just do it. Now.¨

 

 

He still looks puzzled, but slowly, his hand moves up to his tie, pulling at the knot before raising it above his head. He shrugs out of his jacket, then takes one step towards me.

 

 

¨No! You can’t come near me…there will be no touching.¨

 

 

¨What? I…¨

 

 

 

I see the instant that it dawns on him…as his own words come back to him.

 

 

I want you to be ready and wet for me…without my ever having touched you. I want you to reach that point just by the anticipation of what is going to happen between us. I want to look at you and know that you are ready to take me inside of you…

His biggest fantasy…my gift for him today.

He stills completely now.

¨Khushi…you don’t have to do this.¨

I lean against the kitchen counter, my heart pounding again.

 

¨Don’t you get it, Arnav? I want to.¨

 

Our gazes clash for a long moment, and then he exhales.

 

I know that the battle is won…for now.

 

¨Your shirt…that’s next.¨

 

Keeping his eyes fixed on mine, he unfastens the top few buttons of his shirt. The glimpse of tanned male flesh ignites a slow, warm burn inside me…and for the first time, I gain the confidence necessary to pull this off.

 

The shirt hangs open to his waist, and he pulls it out of his trousers slowly,then drops it to the floor before leaning one shoulder against the wall beside him.

 

¨Awaiting your command, Mrs. Raizada.¨

 

I take another deep breath.

 

¨Don’t move.¨

 

Surprise flashes across his eyes, but it rapidly changes to raw need when he sees what I am doing.

 

 

¨Khushi…¨

 

 

In one swift move, I open the knot at the back of my neck and the halter top of the dress drops to my waist. I tug at the skirt, and soon it lies in a silken puddle on the floor, leaving me clad only in my nude-toned bra and panties.

 

His scorching gaze rakes down my body, and I find myself unable to stand anymore.

Drawing a bar-stool out from under the island, I seat myself on it.

 

¨Your trousers, Arnav.¨

 

He raises his darkened gaze to mine, and then slowly drops his hand to his belt before unbuckling it and pulling it out from it’s loops. His fingers go to the fastening of his trousers, and my own twitch in response.

 

In the next instant, his trousers lie on the floor at his feet, and he kicks them away.

 

My gaze is riveted to his arousal, plainly visible through the boxer brief that struggles to contain it.

Everything inside me clenches in response, and I cross my legs at once, attempting to alleviate the ache between them.

 

 

¨The…boxers go too.¨

 

He stares at me with an enigmatic gaze, then pulls his boxers down to stand before me naked.

 

Gloriously, unashamedly naked.

 

And then he does something that shocks me.

 

I gasp in surprise and my entire body goes up in flames at the sight before me.

 

He stills, then smiles a predatory smile as he continues to stroke himself.

 

 

¨Do you want this, Khushi?¨

 

 

Oh yes, I do.

 

I want to say that aloud, but my tongue won’t cooperate.

The dampness between my thighs makes me squirm against the leather of the bar-stool, and his gaze drops to my legs.

 

¨Imagine this…there. Imagine how it will feel when I finally drive into you…again and again.¨

 

I stand up suddenly, unable to take it any longer.

¨Arnav, I…¨

 

¨One of us is overdressed now, don’t you think?¨

 

I look down at myself, then slowly reach behind me to unhook the clasp of my bra. The material chafes my exquisitely sensitive breasts as it falls away, and then I pull my panties off before straightening up again.

 

His gaze is fixed exactly where I crave him the most, and when he finally looks up, his gaze is black with desire.

 

¨What do you want now, Khushi?¨

 

¨You.¨

 

¨Are you sure?¨

 

¨I…yes!¨

 

¨Are you ready for me? Are you wet and aching like I need you to be?¨

 

Every word raises my need one more notch until I can longer control the trembling that spreads through me.

I wrap my arms around myself, my gaze locked on his.

 

¨I need you, Arnav. Now.¨

 

In the next instant, I find myself backed against the counter, his warm body crushing mine against the cool stone.

 

He doesn’t kiss me, nor does he touch me anywhere else.

His hands go straight to my hips as he lifts me up so that I am now sitting on the counter, and then he spreads my legs apart.

 

He looks down at me, and I writhe against the granite.

 

¨Arnav…¨

 

The blazing eyes are back on mine.

 

¨You are my every fantasy come to life, Khushi.¨

 

With those words, he drives into me, one quick thrust that makes me slide against the slick stone.

He lowers his hands to my legs and pulls them around his waist before sliding out and slamming back inside.

 

I cry out as the pleasure spirals inside me, caught in a vortex of love and desire and need.

 

I clutch him close as he sets up a pounding rhythm, trying to hold on…trying not to unravel…

But it is impossible to stop this whirlwind.

I climax suddenly, my internal muscles clamping around his hard length as he pounds on and on, never letting up, even when I fall back against him, completely spent.

 

A moment later he stiffens, then comes apart in my arms with a deep groan that rumbles through my body.

We lie together in a tangle of sweaty limbs for a long moment, and then he withdraws slowly before lifting me up into his arms. Walking over to the living room, he seats himself on it before drawing me close, then wraps a throw around us both while our breathing steadies.

 

 

¨Why, Khushi? Why this…why now?¨

 

I look up into passion-clouded gaze.

 

¨Because it is time, don’t you think?¨

 

¨Time?¨

 

I lean in close, then kiss his neck once.

 

¨Time to make that promise…with our bodies, before all else.¨

 

 

He winds his hand in my hair and tugs gently so that I am looking up at him again.

 

 

¨And so you made my fantasy come true?¨

 

 

¨It was a gift, Arnav. For giving me one year of incredible happiness.¨

 

Honest as always, he shakes his head.

 

¨It hasn’t been moonlight and roses all the way, has it?¨

 

 

¨No, it hasn’t. That’s what makes this moment so perfect…knowing that we have journeyed together to reach this place.¨

 

¨Do you believe that the worst is over now? Do you…believe in me?¨

 

I take a deep breath.

 

¨Yes.¨

 

¨Why, Khushi? What has changed for you since Greece? I haven’t made any promises yet…¨

 

¨What are promises, Arnav? Are you talking about the ones made around a holy fire? Or the legal ones you tried to create with not one, but two contracts? ¨

 

 

¨Those are the ones that usually define a marriage, Khushi.¨

 

 

¨In the traditional sense…yes. But I don’t think that anything about us can be defined as that.¨

 

¨Where are you going with this?¨

 

¨I’m trying to tell you that a promise can be made in other ways as well. Through a touch that promises to hold you through the night…and to catch you as you fall. Through a gaze that never wavers from you, even when there are a hundred other women in the vicinity who are more beautiful…that is a promise too, Arnav.¨

 

He gazes down at me, then leans down to kiss me briefly.

 

¨So according to you…I have made the same commitment that you have?¨

 

 

¨That’s exactly what I am trying to say, Arnav. It took me a while to see it, but that is only because I was looking in the wrong place to begin with. These past months have set me free too, you know. Free to look beyond the expected and see that I already had everything I ever wanted…I just hadn’t seen it yet.¨

 

 

¨Let me get this straight, Khushi. Are you saying that I have…eliminated the ‘think’, just like you have?¨

 

 

I know what he is really asking here.

 

Love.

 

It is the one word that can still drive a wedge between us…but I don’t intend to let that happen.

 

 

¨What matters is this, Arnav. Do you want to eliminate that ‘think’? Do you believe in the existence of…that emotion now?¨

 

 

He leans back against the couch, taking me with him.

 

 

¨Do you know something, Khushi? I don’t think that there was ever a ‘think’ to begin with.¨

 

 

¨What?¨

 

He looks down at me, then tightens his grasp around my body.

 

¨Do you know what has troubled me about this relationship since day one? The fact that I could never really compartmentalize it. I could never call this lust…because lust wouldn’t explain everything I was beginning to feel, even then. Lust wouldn’t explain why I had gone to such lengths to keep you with me. And so, logic dictated that there was something else at play here…something unprecedented, something new. And when I realized that, it scared the living daylights out of me.¨

 

¨Are you talking about…love?¨

 

¨Am I? I don’t know if that’s what it’s called, Khushi. I don’t know if that’s the name for this need, this desire to be with you at all times. I don’t know if that’s the name for this fear that grips me when I imagine life without you. Is that what all this is? I don’t really know the name…what I do know is that it is powerful…more powerful than lust, or desire…more powerful than my need for control…it’s stronger than anything I’ve ever known.¨

 

If that isn’t an admission of love, I don’t know what is.

 

I lean up and kiss him softly, and he returns the kiss for a moment before pulling away.

 

 

¨So there you have it, Mrs. Raizada. That is what your husband feels for you. So now, on our one year anniversary, would you like to make this official?¨

 

I laugh, throwing my head back against the couch.

 

¨How much more official can this get? We are legally married, even if we have been pretending that we aren’t…¨

 

 

¨That is true, of course. But tonight, the contract ends…¨

 

¨Do you want to go to your study and tear it, just like they do in the movies?¨

 

There’s no answering humor in his gaze.

 

¨No, Khushi. I’d like to keep it…as a reminder. ¨

 

¨A…reminder?¨

 

¨Yes. Years down the line, I want to be able to look at it and see how we are doing the exact opposite of what it says, and laugh at my own foolishness in making it .¨

 

¨The opposite?¨

 

¨Yes. Our rooms will never be separate…neither will our lives. Our relationship will never be defined by legalities or terms…by anything except what we share between us…¨

 

 

¨Then I will keep that second contract too. To remind me that once, my husband was prepared to give me A.R, the company that was everything he had ever wanted.¨

 

 

¨You are what I’ve always wanted. Even when I did not know it…¨

 

 

Another kiss, deeper this time.

Breathing deeply, I caress his lips with my fingers.

 

¨So this is it, then…the beginning of our new life together?¨

 

¨Yes. As partners. As two people who value this relationship above all else…¨

 

I hesitate before broaching a subject I’ve been recently thinking about.

 

 

¨…and as parents, someday?¨

 

 

His eyes widen for a moment, and then he smiles.

 

 

¨Where did that come from?¨

 

¨I’ve been thinking about it lately…after seeing Di…¨

 

He sighs, the rests his face on my shoulder.

 

¨I don’t know if we’re ready for that yet, but yes, someday…¨

 

 

He looks up suddenly, his lips curving into a boyish grin.

 

 

¨Do you remember when I found out that you were at the doctors’? I surprised myself that day, when I found myself actually…happy that you might have conceived. Me, the person who had always been careful about protection…I just couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t even considered children before that point in time…¨

 

¨But you do now?¨

 

¨I think we could consider that…at some point in the future. For now, we have a relationship to build…and you have a career to develop. Wouldn’t you agree?¨

 

¨As long as you aren’t completely ruling it out…¨

 

He cups my face in one warm hand.

 

¨I couldn’t ever say no to you, Khushi. Don’t you know that by now? I would give you the world, if only you’d ask.¨

 

 

I smile, even as my eyes fill with tears.

 

¨Look at who’s being all dramatic now…¨

 

He takes my lips in a kiss, then leans me back until he’s lying on top.

 

 

¨I’m not kidding, Khushi. I’d do anything, give you anything…believe that promise, even if you believe nothing else.¨

 

 

¨And even if you believe nothing else, know that I want you. Just you.¨

 

 

¨Because you love me?¨

 

 

His eyes are hopeful, and filled with a promise that will never be left unfulfilled.

 

 

¨Because you do too, Mr. Raizada.¨

 

 

But even as I say the words…even as he bends down to kiss me without refuting them, I know that it isn’t exactly the truth.

 

Arnav was probably right, after all.

 

This isn’t really love.

 

Because suddenly, love seems like a paltry description for this strong, beautiful, powerful emotion that binds us together.

 

Just love?

 

I don’t think so.

 

 

 

 

*************************

 

 

 

A/N: Arnav’s Epilogue involves another time leap and is now up.

 

Happy reading!